Thursday, December 25, 2008

Seasons Greetings

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ! Watch this space for more parenting tips next year! Make your parenting resolutions stick in 2009!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Quote from Oprah Magazine!

"Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so."


Dr Bich Hong Hguyen at the Sleep Disorders Centre in Montreal's Sacre-Coeur Hospital said that night terrors which send children into inconsoloble screaming fits are at least partially inheritable.During these events, children seem confused and disoriented. Any attempt to awaken them may increase their agitation and prolong the episode. As night terrors are brief events, children usually return to sleep with no recollection of the episode.


Bloomberg is one of the last channels on earth that you might get good insight on parenting let alone watch an interview of one of the top child psychiatrist in the world talk about ADHD or autism. But hey , life is one surprise after the other. If you can download Nightline on youtube, be sure to watch the interview of Dr Harold Koplewicz. He is the founder of the NYU Child Study Centre in New York. His insights will blow you away. Alternatively, you can also check out the website

Riveting stuff, really

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Maybe with the tainted milk crisis in China, more mothers will consider breast-feeding as the most safest and viable option for their child. It's a win-win situation. No need to spend money on milk, it's rich in fatty acids that cannot be found in milk formula, no need to wash bottles and it's promotes bonding. And with Angelina Jolie and so many celebrity mothers promoting breast-feeding, it has even become sexy!

Saturday, November 8, 2008


Dr Marilyn Daniels found that preschoolers who were taught sign language scored significantly higher on the Peabody Vocabulary Test when compared to preschoolers who did not learn sign language. Daniels concluded that a preschooler's vocabulary can be improved if words are presented visually and kinesthetically as well as verbally.

Daniels, Marilyn, Dancing with Words: Signing for Hearing Children's Literacy. Bergin & Garvey, October 2000. ISBN: 0897897927.

Sunday, November 2, 2008


I was having a tea with a friend on Saturday ( she has just given birth recently) and she was sharing with me her "conversion" to natural parenting. She rounded up the whole list to me
1) cloth diapers 2) breast feeding (of course!) 3) organic soaps 4) organic food were just a few basic things that made her parenting "au naturale". Will post more details later.

Saturday, October 25, 2008


For many children nowadays, healthy eating means boring food. However, with rising obesity among children and the increase in fast food consumption, healthy eating has become all the more important among concerned parents. Here are 5 tips to get your child to eat healthier :

1) Discourage eating meals in front of the television. A lot of children tend to overeat when they sit in front of the tv because they are focussed on the programme and not on their food. As a result, they ignore signs of fullness. Therefore, try to eat dinner at the dinner table and if possible, try to make it a family affair (for at least one meal a day) so you can monitor what and how much they eat.

2) Limit liquids. Try to get your child to drink more water instead of loading up on sweetened drinks and sodas. Many studies have linked sugary beverages and carbonated drinks to a rise in obesity in children. Also ,these drinks tend to fill them up so they don't have space for nutritous food .

3) Try not to reward children with fast food treats. In a food obscessed culture such as Malaysia, eating out is seen as a treat. Try to use other ways to reward good behaviour and grades instead of bribing children with food.

4) Food control. Food awareness is one the most important thing a parent must know. A growing child needs a balanced diet rich in good fats, protein , fibre , carbohydrates and minerals. Often at the end of a long workday, parents are too tired to hassle their children about proper food and tend to give in and let their child eat what they want. Too many biscuits and chocolates will only lead to an unhealthy child.

5) Involve your children in shopping and preparing food. This will also give you a chance to educate them on healthy food choices and children arem ore inclined to eat a meal if they are involved in the process of making it

Nurturing your child's interest

Have you discovered your child is interested in volcanoes? Or he can't stop talking about animals ? Something other than video games ....what to do next ? Here's how to no nurture his/her interest.....who knows you may have a budding scientist living under your roof

1) Identify what his interests are exactly
2) Get him the books....if he's not a big reader, get him to watch documentaries that are related to his subject of interest
3) Encourage him to talk about it. Listen avidly even if his thoughs are not coherent or even if you think it's impractical
4) Support your child and make time for his new hobby. Human's sense of self is often tied to what they do. So encouraging him to develop new interests will help boost his/her self esteem
5) Have fun. Take him to road shows related to his/her new interest

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Day-dreaming is good for your child !

Teresa Belton, a research associate at East Anglia Universoty on the UK says " The capacity to day-dream enables a person to fill empty time with an enjoyable activity. In her forthcoming paper, she adds that " children who engage in more day dreaming score higher on experimental measures of creativity. Malia Mason, a neuro-scientist said that " day -dreaming builds on the fundamental capacity to project ourselves into imaginary situations ,like the future. Without that skill, we'll be pretty limited creatures".
So switch off the television and circle some down time or empty slot in your child's day. It may help him boost his or her creativity !

Quote (from Reader's Digest September issue)

"Babies don't need a vacation but i still see them at the beach"

Steven Wright

Friday, September 5, 2008

Hi which book would you recommend for baby sign language? I have no time to browse through all the books (Susy London)

Hi Susy,

I'd say " Secrets of the baby whisperer for toddlers " by Tracy Hogg is my favorite book on the subject. She makes it easy to understand and implement. Have fun with sign language'll be amazed how smart toddlers really are :)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Hi what do you think of sign language for babies?

I highly recommend it ! There are so many good books in the market now and i feel any positive stimulation to the infact will benefit him or her in the long run and baby signing is a good place to start. It requires patience,though and don't forget to have fun :)

Friday, July 11, 2008

The Facebook Generation

Studies have shown that kids who are hooked on sites like myspace or facebook may find real life boring. Also ,these children have a harder time forming real friendships as they learn that friendships could easily be terminated by a click on a mouse. While it's good to be tech savy and connected to social networks via the internet, parents should ensure their children spend real time forming real friendships

Friday, June 20, 2008


I was watching an interview about Carly Simon and she said something that resonated with me about being a parent : She said the kids don't care what you look like or what you're doing : they just want you to be there. Sometimes that's all a parent needs to do :)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

SUPERWOMAN doesn't live here anymore....

In the olden days, women just had to focus on being a housewife. Now the average woman has to put in a whole day at work, fight traffic only to come home to a full day of housework. Has times really improved for women??Or have we suddenly found ourselves burdened with TWO jobs. Tell me what you think.............

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Consumer Cop - Teen Talk - New Idea

Consumer Cop - Teen Talk - New Idea

A Hannah Montana Party

HOW TO THROW A Hannah Montana Party

Idle parenting means happy children - Telegraph

Idle parenting means happy children - Telegraph

Short note from me :)

Hi friends!!! My very creative mother made me a piano shaped cake ( which had a stand ) for my ninth birthday. It was a coral pink shade in colour. Back then, we didn't have birthday theme parties and a standard "exciting" birthday party would be held in KFC or McD's. However, now the latest fad especially for younger girls , is to throw a celebrity party and so i've linked to " "how to throw a hannah montana party" for all you frazzled mothers at wits end on what them to throw for your daughter's birthday. Also , i've featured Tom Hogkinson's Idle Parenting. I read his article in the Daily Telegraph and i found his "laissez fairre" attitude towards parenting amusing. So hope you enjoy both links. Take care and happy parenting!!!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

How do i protect my children from a nasty divorce?

Trust me, i've seen healthy ,well balanced children come out from a messy divorce. Children are very resillient. Still, try not to make custody a battle because it could tear the children apart. The children are loyal little people so don't make them choose sides.I know this is difficult especially if you feel you've been wronged by your husband but every attempt should be made to ensure that the child's love for BOTH parents is not tested at all. Few children know how to hate their parents and hatred is a wrong path to put a child on, more so when his or her whole life is already uprooted due to the divorce. Remember, in a good divorce, both parents should focus on their child's well being and should be totally engaged in being parents even if they are no longer married to each other.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Hi Sonia! We live is a small flat. How can i maximise my space for my child to play?

Make an effort to take your child out. If there is a playground nearby, bring him to it. The fresh air will do him good.Supervise your child at all times .Alternatively, you could also take him swimming or organise playgroups with other mums


Mylene Klass of the "popstars" fame in the UK said the birth of her child altered the 7 year relationship she had with her partner.

At one point she wanted to leave him.

"He couldn't understand why i wasn't my old self- he thought i should be back to my old clothes but i could barely get out of my pyjamas. "

" Having a baby is hard on a relationship. I know it is the same for every working mother-but it seems like no one really talks about it, what a challenge it is for a couple."


According to Woman's Day magazine, Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie are coming under fire by child experts as their erratic lifestyles are taking a toll on their kids. Here are what the experts noted of recent photos of the children

* fighting among the brood
*constantly eating junk food
* no friends
* out of control tantrums
* constantly changing schools
*no set routine due to constant travelling

Experts say that there is little doubt that the children's poor snack options and lack of routine are what leads them to fight so much.

Not only that, parents need to provide routine and stability so the child can grow through the developmental milestones, which are hard enough

Thursday, May 1, 2008


" Anxious parents breed anxious children,"

Monday, April 28, 2008

Do i invite the whole class for my son's birthday party? Help!

That's a tricky question !Well depends on your budget and it depends on what the "customary" practice is ( do the other children's parents invite the whole class?).It's an agonizing decision and a real headache to decide who to invite. I remember my 6th birthday my mom brought a huge teddy bear cake to my kindergarden and the whole class gathered around me. I still have that picture of me standing next to my best friend amy ( we are best friends even til today) and the whole class got a piece of my cake.We all had a great time!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

My quote

" Low expectations breed low achievers"

quotes on people

" hurt people tend to hurt other people"
(hurt people hurt people)
from Oprah

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Quotes on Parenting

The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard. ~Sloan Wilson

Quotes on Parenting

The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent. ~Frank Pittman, Man Enough

Quotes on Parenting

Kids spell love T-I-M-E. ~John Crudele

Quotes on Parenting

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons

Quotes on Parenting

If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others. ~Haim Ginott

Quotes on Parenting

What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give. ~P.D. James, Time to Be in Earnest

Quotes on Parenting

You will always be your child's favorite toy. ~Vicki Lansky, Trouble-Free Travel with Children, 1991

Quotes on Parenting

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. ~Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family


"Parents should NOT obey their children " anonymous

Quotes on Parenting

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. ~Hodding Carter, Jr.

Quotes on Parenting

Simply having children does not make mothers. ~John A. Shedd

VIEWPOINT by Terry Lin

Hi ! The thing that keeps me up at night is i'm worried that the school hours will be made longer and our children's nutrition will suffer in the process. Isn't there any way we can get the Malaysian canteens to serve healthier food other than the oily kicap fried mee hoon or fizzy drinks???
Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. ~Roger Lewin

Quotes on Parenting

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. ~Robert A. Heinlein

Quotes on Parenting

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. ~Lane Olinghouse

Quotes on Parenting

If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent. ~Bette Davis

Quotes on Parenting

"Your children need your presence more than your presents." Jesse Jackson

Friday, April 11, 2008

How do i prevent my kids from becoming spoilt brats? Erica JB

Hi Erica!To answer your question, we must first look at the factors that cause parents to "spoil" their kids. We live in a workaholic society that means we get to spend less time with the children. Many parents tend to compensate by buying them expensive gifts instead of spending quality time. Some of us also have more disposable income and lesser children than our parents so we feel its our right to buy them the things we could never have. And it's not just about money. After putting in a full day's work and battling traffic jams, we come home to a whole list of household chores which mean we are EXHAUSTED individuals . As a result ,many parents feel it's easier to give in to the child's demands rather than discipline them. My sincere advice is to BE THE PARENT at all times. Don't be afraid to assert your authority. If no means no, you've gotta act like you mean it. They will throw a fuss , of course, but over the long run, they will grow to respect you. Also ,be reasonable at other times and give each child individual time so they know that you are there for them

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

At what age can i introduce my child to books??

From early on! You can read to your baby before he's even six months. The rhythm of your voice and the close proximity will promote bonding. As he gets older, get books with a lot of pictures in it , so he can relate better by pointing to pictures while you read

Sunday, April 6, 2008

My child ask me how come i am a single parent. What do i SAY? I want to shield him from the truth

It depends on your child's age and the situation you are in. It also depends on your child's understanding of what has happened. In my view, the truth, told gently is still the best. It's impoatnat that the child get any information straight from you instead of friends or careless relatives. Alternatively, if you still want to shield your chid from the truth, it is best to brief friends and relatives on what to say and what not to say in your child's presence

Saturday, March 29, 2008

HELP ! My child is a poor eater. What to do? Alice , Jakarta

Hi Alice ! When it comes to making a child eat, it's all about APPROACH. Many parents make the mistake of scolding, bribing, urging , pleading or even threatening a child to eat. This is not the right apporach as it makes mealtimes a battleground instead of a pleasant experience. Here's what to do
1) Small portions . Huge portions of food usually intimidate the child and turns him/her off food. As the child eats, gradually add more food to the plate
2) Find out what the child likes to eat and serve more of that. In the process , introduce other kinds of healthy food.
3) Be friendly and don't force the child.
4) Once your child is full, don't push anymore food .

Good luck!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


" The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate , is called a grandparent"

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Healthy food choices here

I read with great interest an article in New Strait Times dated 20March 2008. It said and i quote
" children had been brain washed into buying according to brands. This was evident in the "Kids Lunch Box Challenge " held to determine the effects of advertisements on children's food choices. Most of the children who took part in the challenge picked fast food and carbonated drinks instead of nutritious food and water.
" It was a kid's dream. And the kids went for it especially those (food) that came with toys.

Healthy food choices in the UK

I watched Jamie Oliver's show about bringing healthy food to schools in the UK with great fascination. It was truly a crusade because the children was so used to being served high fat,high sodium food that they shunned fruit,vegetables and healthy food and were adamant to eat what they wanted. And many of these children went home to busy mothers who themselves served the children the same unhealthy food. Oliver's message is clear : Children deserved healthy , nutritous food and should be weaned off their junk food diet. Their health is at stake!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

New ways of learning?

A new study has shown that there are 4 types of ways children learn and pick up new concepts :

1) The Verbal Learner

This child has a flair for language and loves to read. The downside is ,he/she might be having difficulty in mathematics.

Approach : " As soon as your child learns something new, have her write it down and explain it out to you lould ," says Prof Mel Levine MD , Professor of Paediatrics at the North Caroline University.

2) The Visual Learner

This child responds to graphics and loves art. Tends to hing towards creativity

Approach :" The best way to teach a child like this is to use picture methods. Get books with a lot of graphics and diagrams inside " says Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D

3) The Auditory Learner

These children learn by listening. You may find them sitting in a corner, memorizing facts by repeating it to themselves our aloud.

Approach : Auditory learners understand new ideas best when they can listen to themselves say it. So if your child has already founds an effective way of doing this, leave them be

4) Kinesthetic Learner

This child can't sit still !

Approach : When your child is doing his homework, don't insist that he sits still. If he must fidget with something, give him an eraser to fiddle with. The controversial reason? In some kids, activity stimulates the child's brain and may help him concentrate.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


In this time and age, it is IMPERATIVE that we teach our children to beware of strangers.
1) Don't open the door to anyone who is not familiar
2) Don't get into a strangers car
3) Be careful of people who claim to be "friends" and who was very friendly

Remember a lot of this predators who prey on children appear very friendly and diarming to children. A lot of them cook up fantastic stories and some of them may have been observing your child's movements or activities . So sit your child down tonight, and have a heart to heart chat about the danger of strangers.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Quote on teens

Charlotte Mason

The question is not,—how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education—but how much does he care?"

How to tell if your teenager is lying to you?

1) Body language and fidgeting
2) Concorting unbeleivable sotries or situations
3) A sudden change in routine
4) No eye contact
5) Or they look at you very long without blinking
6) The facts don't add up
7) They forget what they told you and try to cover it up with a new story

Friday, March 14, 2008

Role models for our teenage girls

There seems to be an alarming LACK of good role models for our teenage girls to idolise. So many girls nowadays are being force fed the notion that it's cool to be dumb and sexy ala Britney Spears or Paris Hilton. And you just need to look at Britney's downward spiral to see what a mess her life is in right now. Like the song " Stupid Girls" by Pink , who says in her lyrics " I don't want to be a stupid girl ......Outcast and girls with ambition, that's what i want to see ". I feel our society is in sore need of good female role models who contibute to society. And we should tell our children that it's not acceptable to use indecency to sell ourselves !

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Oldest Nursery Rhyme?

"London bridge is falling down" may well be a thousand years old ! This nursery rhyme can be traced back all the way to the 11th century when London bridge, made originally out of wood actually was falling down due to the attack by King Olaf od Norway !

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Quote of the day

" With kids, the days are long but the years are short "

Readers Digest

Monday, March 10, 2008

My teenage son is a mediocre student. Does this mean he will be mediocre his whole life? anonymous

Hi !! I know so many people who were labelled "hopeless" in school but later rose to great heights in their twenties and beyond. What many experts now believe is that how parents treat the child, motivate the child and set reasonable expectations for the child is more often contributary to the child's eventual success later in life. Allow the child to develop his or her own strengths in their own time.

Friday, March 7, 2008


This is known as the 1-2-3- principle for tantrums
Explain to the child

1) Stop doing that because........
2)If you don't stop doing that, you must go to your room or wherever
3)Go to your rooom

Quote of the Day

"Good sleep can only be enjoyed if it has been interrupted"

Quote of the Day

" Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying "


Thursday, March 6, 2008

My 6 year old kicks up a big fuss every morning and refuses to go to Kindergarden. What do i do? Shirley, Sarawak

Hi Shirley.......School refusal is a common problem. First find out if there are any underlying issues e.g Is your child getting bullied by the other children? Or is it just a case of separation anxienty ? Slowly get the child to gain the trust of the teacher and tell her she approach the teacher anytime . Some parents even give a handphone to their child so the child can reach them at anytime. However, some parents say that giving a child a handphone is a bit much. Over a period of time, the child will gradually adjust so don't worry.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

How do i get my child to be more independent? Sue Shah Alam

Hi Sue ! Many parents have a tough time letting go of their children and a lot of children tend to cling to their parents especially when it comes to sending the child off to the carer or day care centre.Ask your child what is troubling him/her. One way to deal with this is to encourage your child to speak her mind. Then explain to her the reason behind it example, mummy has to go to work. Also encourage her to do things for herself without interfering.

I am constantly comparing my naughty 3 yr old to his intelligent older brother.How else to make him behave? Anonymous

Hi! There is a tendency to discipline children by comparing them to sibblings or friends. Some Asian parents also "shame" their children into good behaviour. This obviously isn't healthy for the child. Self esteem develops rapidly in childhood and if the parents constantly put the child down, the child will develop an inferiority complex that he will carry into adulthood. When building a child's self esteem, you should focus on the internal factors eg the child's strengths not the external factors eg other children's strengths. For example, you can play the piano so well , not, Susie got a distinction in her piano exam and you merely passed.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I have a really tough time putting my toddler to sleep. Help ! Soh, Kota Marudu

Hi Soh! What u need to do is establish a bedtime routine for your toddler. Allow enough time in the evening for a relaxed dinner, warm bath and turn off the TV an hour before bedtime. Try to follow this same routine every night. Tuck in his teddy/favorite blanket with him and read him a bedtime story. Sing a special song together or hum his favorite tune. Do the same ritual every night. I cannot stress enough the importance of rituals for toddlers and children. When you leave his bedroom, be decisive. Do not linger.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Hi my child eats his veggies at the day care but he refuses to touch it at home. Why? Shanti, KL

Hi Shanti....Children sometimes use food as a tool to gain attention. His acting up at home may be another way to gain extra attention from you. When so much emotion is attached to not eating his food, he naturally rebels . As a parent, it is important to not make a big fuss when he refuses his veggies . Also , do not bribe or threaten your child to eat his veggies. This will only reinforce his negative feelings about it. Interestingly, he may be eating his veggies at the day care due to peer pressure (all his friends are eating it) or the fact that he can't gain extra attention there.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Help! My child refuses to eat his vegetables. What do i do? Sharon, Brunei

Hi Sharon! It is common for children to dodge the veggies off the plate. Firstly, do try and serve the vegetables in a fun way, like cut the vegetables in cute shapes or arrangements . Also try different recipes and encourage him to eat by showing him that you enjoy the vegetables yourself. Alternatively, if he still refuses his veggies, you could serve him more fruits instead.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

We have a playground near my house but i seldom take my 3 year old son because he throws a tantrum when it's time to leave.It's embarassing! Qi

Hi Qi ! Tantrums are every parents nightmare , especially a full blown tantrum which involves screaming, lying on the ground and crying ( not to mention dirty stares from on lookers). I will discuss a 5 step approach to dealing with tantrums in another post. Today i will focus on the palyground issue. You need to stress to your child that when it's time to go, he has to go. Start making him aware by doing a countdown.You should keep him informed on how long time he has left, telling him he has 15 minutes left, then 10 minutes left ,then 5 minutes etc. Then explain to him that if he behaves well, you will reward him (eg take him to the park again the next day). Children like rules and regulations. And they love rewards. So make sure you danggle a carrot. Good luck :)

HELP! My 3 year old is potty trained, but when he's out, he sometimes wets himself. What do i do? Karen, Singapore

Hi Karen...Sometimes when a child is out, in all his excitement, he forgets he's not wearing a nappy and he /she might wet himself/herself. If your child looks like he needs to go to the toilet, don't ask if he wants to go.Instead say "Let's go to the potty/toilet". Be patient. It takes some kids anywhere between six months to a year to get the hang of it. Also remember to make hand washing a part of the routine.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

To daycare or not to daycare?? That is the question. ....Allison, Bangsar

Hi care is becoming an attractive option for many working mothers and daycare centres boast many attractive learning options to facilitate the development of the child. However, a controversial study published in Child Development found that the more time children spent in centre based care before kindergarden, the more likely they were to report behavioural problems. Still they have been so many other studies showing benefits of daycare including social and intellectual stimulation. So it all depends on the type of daycare and the quality of service it offers. Do your homework before selecting the right centre :)

HELP !! I'm a new parent and i don't feel close to my baby..........from Susan, Keningau

Hi Susan.....Having a baby is a stressful time for any mother so don't be too hard on yourself. Don't berate yourself if you don't feel an overwhelming surge of love. Newborn babies are demanding and like all new mothers, an adjustment period is vital to bond with your baby. Spend some time alone with your newborn baby and get someone to help you out with the chores