Tuesday, March 4, 2008

I am constantly comparing my naughty 3 yr old to his intelligent older brother.How else to make him behave? Anonymous

Hi! There is a tendency to discipline children by comparing them to sibblings or friends. Some Asian parents also "shame" their children into good behaviour. This obviously isn't healthy for the child. Self esteem develops rapidly in childhood and if the parents constantly put the child down, the child will develop an inferiority complex that he will carry into adulthood. When building a child's self esteem, you should focus on the internal factors eg the child's strengths not the external factors eg other children's strengths. For example, you can play the piano so well , not, Susie got a distinction in her piano exam and you merely passed.